Tranquility for 23

Over the holidays, you may have had some time off to reflect on your goals for 2023, and come January 2^nd, the rush of life came back and threw your serenity out the door. The kids are back to school, work travel is happening, and you still don’t have a weekly meal plan. January often turns out to be one of the busiest months for me. Now that it has passed, I am looking to start things off better in February.

I recently completed Laura Vanderkam’s new book, Tranquility by Tuesday. In the book, Laura has created a set of rules to help the reader find a tranquil life every week. She illustrates evidence-backed research that helps to validate the nine rules she offers. Her research, along with her empathetic approach, makes me believe these strategies can impact my life in a positive direction. In today’s post, I will share some of my takeaways from the book and hope it will bring you one step closer to stepping into your Star Stunning self.

One Hundred Dreams

Take a minute and visualize your life dreams. This is a challenge for me. How about you? Fortunately, one of the first activities in Tranquility by Tuesday is to write down your 100 dreams. Laura recommends listing your dreams in three categories: career, relationships, and self. This first step provided me with The Why in life and, as I learned about the rules, gave me more ambition to incorporate them.  

Below is a sample of my dreams per category:

Career	Relationships	Self
A regional leadership position.	Take summer trips to National Parks or Monuments each year with my kids	Be active in things I enjoy. I enjoy golf, pickleball, skiing, ice skating, and Xabeat.
Have a project published in Healthcare Design.	Have close relationships with female friends.	Own a red convertible.
Support other women on their career journey and have 5000 followers on my blog.	Spend a week in Paris with a good friend.	Have an art studio in my home, paint regularly and have an art show.
Set up passive streams o income.	Enjoy a month in Italy with my kids, from Tuscany to Rome to the Amalfi Coast.	Play classical music at home daily on the radio, piano, flute or clarinet.

I like this first step because it identified my values. It also served as a framework for me. In addition, it made me realize that my dreams are achievable. Some will take more focus, attention, and time, but they are possible. What do you see in your dreams?

My biggest takeaway is that I realized my dreams were achievable. I also reflected on the dreams I have already fulfilled. I traveled through Brazil alone; I lived in Los Angeles, California, and studied in Rome, Italy. As I reflect on my gratitude for those experiences and look forward, I am excited about my dreams and my ability to fulfill them. What about your dreams? Are you excited to make them a reality?

Take some time on this exercise; I hope it lets you know your values and dreams and see a path to fulfill them. Having this knowledge may make it easier for you to implement the rules presented in “Tranquility by Tuesday.” Today I will share the three that resonated the most with me: Give Yourself a Bedtime, Three Times a Week is a Habit, and Plan on Fridays.

Give Yourself a Bedtime:

As reported consistently from numerous sources, the amount of sleep needed for an adult is between 7 -9 hours each night. Laura’s research shows many people get this average amount of sleep over the week, yet they often complain of tiredness. Further review of the data illustrated that despite reaching the number of hours, it wasn’t consistent each night. Extra sleep one night and not enough the next lead to overall tiredness. Most people would say the day starts when your alarm goes off, but as Laura outlines, it starts with bedtime. I could not agree more. Three years ago, I implemented the rule of going to bed when the kids go to bed. At my house, this means 8:30 pm. I do thirty minutes of reading and then lights out at 9 pm. I wake up at 5 am. I stick close to this on the weekends as well.

Creating a daily sleep and wake-up routine has helped me live up to my values and reach my goals. Sticking to this schedule allows me time for myself. Each morning I have time to pray, meditate, journal, exercise, and enjoy a cup of coffee before the kids get up at 6:45 am. This morning routine prepares me for the day. It has helped reduce frustrations no matter what the day brings; I have already attended to my needs in alignment with my values.

Now consider your “why” for a bedtime. The “why” is your motivation. Now identify what an appropriate sleep is for you. In “Tranquility by Tuesday,” Laura Vanderkam outlines the following steps to define rest.

• Decide when you plan to wake up each day.
• Decide how much sleep you need.
• Calculate when you need to be in bed to get this amount of sleep.
• Set the alarm for 15 to 30 minutes before bedtime so you can ease into bed.

Three Times a Week is a Habit

Many of my self-dreams encompass sharing my creative talents. I won’t’ realize these dreams if I don’t spend time on my abilities. The creative outlet I enjoy the most is painting. Painting takes practice, and I want to explore new mediums, techniques, and subjects. I am very disciplined; I have daily habits, including tracking weight, journaling, and exercising. I also have a bit of an all-or-nothing mentality. If I can’t do it every day or if I can’t be perfect at it, I tend to drop it. This thinking hurts my self-esteem; I am too hard on myself. The idea of the rule, “Three Times a Week is a Habit,” gives me the grace to explore my dreams without too much pressure.

Practicing my painting three times a week is much easier than incorporating a seven-day-a-week habit or the idea that I would dedicate a 4-hour block to painting on the weekend, which is highly unlikely. In the following rule, “Plan of Fridays,” the book provides a specific reason for how to make three times a week happen. Now it is your turn. What would you like to become a part of your life? Making it a habit may bring you one step closer.

Plan on Fridays

Do you ever feel like days flow into months and months into years, and you are unsure where your time went? Also, as you look back, did you make progress on your goals? Do you spend time on activities you enjoy? Did you spend time with the people who mean the most to you? Tranquility by Tuesday’s Rule #2, “Plan on Fridays,” outlines a framework to work within your values and meet your goals. Laura Vanderkam suggests creating a priority list in the same three categories used to create your dreams list: career, relationships, and self. The idea is to plan the upcoming week, Monday to Sunday. With your priority list in mind, look at your calendar and determine when each of the priorities will happen. I love this rule and have been planning on Fridays for several years.

I use Evernote for my priorities list and time blocking. Nevertheless, Laura’s idea of breaking down the categories allowed me to consider things other than work. My planning is now less transactional, such as a list of meetings I need to attend, and more intentional concerning the things I want to achieve and experience to bring more joy to my life by aligning my time with my values. By considering myself and my relationships in my planning, I made time in my schedule to accommodate my dreams. Considering the flowing Saturday and Sunday in my planning allowed me to have plans vs. trying to organize something at the last minute and falling short.

I incorporated Rule #2 in my planning to include the activities I want to be habits. I listed them as time blocks in my calendar three times a week. An essential key to following this rule is to pick a specific time to plan each week. I plan at 1:00 pm on Fridays. I have it blocked out on my calendar. When would be a good time for you to plan? It doesn’t have to be on Friday, but at a time when you are in control of your schedule and can be consistent every week.

The three rules I discussed today, Give Yourself a Bedtime, Three Times a Week is a Habit, and Plan on Fridays, are just a sample of the rules presented in Tranquility by Tuesday by Laura Vanderkam. It is an easy read and provides an actionable tool for a busy working mom. It reinforced and improved some of my current practices, offered new ideas, and gave me hope for a more Tranquil 2023. I hope you take the opportunity to read this excellent book and find your takeaways. Tranquility by Tuesday can be found here.