This summer marks one year since my divorce was final. Getting through the divorce took over two years. My life is still evolving, but things are beginning to fit better. Divorce is the second most Traumatic Life Event behind the death of a loved one. Unfortunately, I experienced divorce twice in my life. First, the divorce of my parents as a 9-year-old and now my divorce.
When the decision to divorce came, I thought, I have had other difficult times; I got through it, and this won’t be any different. I have a successful career; my husband and I had respectable investments, and our kids were healthy. Despite these advantages, divorce is hard. It is a loss. No matter how amicable the agreement to separate is, it is emotionally and financially draining. It can take a long time, leaving you in limbo on essential things like where you will live and what will be your monthly income. These complexities were overwhelming, and I realized I needed help. To make it through, I turned to two distinct professions: Mediation and Divorce Coaching.
A traumatic event can make you reassess the contributions you are bringing to the world. I enjoy working as an architect and creating projects that benefit many people, my work matters. Nevertheless, it doesn’t make a single mom’s life like mine better. My motivation behind Star Stunning was to improve the lives of working moms, and ultimately, that is my passion. Basically, I can do that better by pivoting Star Stunning to support the lives of working single moms. I have furthered my education and skills in two areas to reach my goals. First, I am now a registered neutral for the state of Minnesota for Family Facilitative Mediation, and second, I have received a certificate in Divorce Coaching from IAF School. I am excited to share these resources with the Star Stunning community.
Mediation
Marriage dissolution causes emotional and financial stress for the couple as well as any children in their home. Divorce Mediation is a form of Alternative Dispute Resolution that can reduce the stress for all parties. Mediation can be evaluative, transformational, or facilitation. In all forms of mediation, a third party works as a mediator. I practice facilitative mediation therefore, I work to build an understanding of each other’s needs and events that led to the dispute. With this in mind, the parties and the mediator collaborate to develop possible solutions. Following, two parties work through them to maximize value. The goal is for the two parties to reach an understanding on their own with as little help from the mediator as possible. A successful outcome leaves each party with their best-case solution.
Facilitative mediation is a transparent process that helps both partners reach an agreement and outline a guide on how life will work after a divorce. Values of Mediation include empowerment for both parties, reduced financial burden, a faster resolution, a customized solution, and reduced conflict. You can find a complete overview of the benefits and my process for providing services by Williams Mediation Services here.
Divorce Coaching
Each divorce is unique, and an individual can face challenges ranging from financial to co-parenting to grief of the lost relationship. Through all the stress, divorce requires action. Navigating the dissolution of your marriage can be overwhelming, and finding support during this time can be invaluable. I found support through a financial advisor, a therapist, and a life coach. Each had something to offer. As I interacted with each of them, I thought, wouldn’t it be great if one had a broader understanding of divorce?
I began to research Divorce Coaching and learned there is, in fact, a missing service in the market. I was drawn to learn more and felt a natural calling to share my knowledge and support others who experience divorce. Whether contemplating divorce, in the process of divorce, or post-divorce, support is needed.
Divorce coaching can help individuals prepare for upcoming mediations, build confidence to make decisions, navigate co-parenting, and develop a life plan post-divorce. I am happy to offer Amy L. Williams Divorce Coaching. You can find a complete overview of my coaching services and the process here.
What’s next for Star Stunning
I began Star Stunning to support working moms. I have spent my entire career working in fast-paced, competitive environments. I love it, but juggling my work and family is sometimes challenging. I found strength in research and my ability to learn and grow. I hope you have enjoyed what I shared with you through the blog about balancing a career and motherhood.
Star Stunning is not fading; I will continue sharing what I have learned. Right now, I am leaning into my passion, and Star Stunning is pivoting to support working single mothers. I am also expanding offerings to include the services of Mediation and Divorce Coaching. I appreciate your support and look forward to offering expanded support through Star Stunning to working mothers without partners.
This brings me to today’s Star Stunning realizations:
- Leaning into your life’s purpose can bring clarity. Spend some time looking at your life experiences. Is there a theme? Is there a strength you have through the experiences that you can offer? Just as sailboats benefit from the wind, how can you lean in and benefit by leaning into your life’s purpose?
- Pivoting can be invigorating. Is there something you have meaning to do for your job, side hustle, or a home project that doesn’t seem to get done? Maybe it’s time to take a different path; it doesn’t have to be a significant change, perhaps a tiny shift to unlock potential and foster growth.
- Change is easier when you give yourself time. Jumping full force into something new can leave you second-guessing. Give yourself time to objectively examine your circumstances, goals, and, ultimately, your passion. By allowing yourself the space to absorb knowledge, make mistakes, and refine your skills, you not only expand your skills but also cultivate resilience and adaptability.
- Consider your impact. Consider the effect you want on the world and the legacy you wish to leave behind. Your purpose may be intertwined with making a positive difference in the lives of others. Consider if leaning into that purpose may bring you greater fulfillment.
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